A family agreement for screens

Decide the edges, not a perfect number

Useful agreements name where screens are not used, what happens at the end, and who the rules apply to, including adults. Bedrooms, meals and the last part of the evening are common edges. The NHS suggests that young children avoid laptops, tablets and phones in the 30 to 60 minutes before bed because the light can interfere with sleep. That is a concrete family rule you can keep.

The CDC’s preschool guidance says screen use for 3- to 5-year-olds should be limited to no more than an hour a day of quality programming, alongside a family media plan, and it points families to further AAP information. Older children are not covered by that single number. For them, a plan about homework, sleep, unkind content and coming off a game matters more than copying a preschool limit.

Make the ending visible

Children fight the end of a game when the end is a surprise. Agree the finish before it starts: one episode, a timer they can see, or a save point. Give a two-minute warning. Then follow through. If you negotiate a new ending every night, there is no agreement, only a debate you are likely to lose when you are tired.

Include what they can do instead, briefly. “The tablet is finished and the football is by the door” is more useful than “go and find something else to do.” Review the agreement when it stops fitting, such as a new school year, rather than in the middle of a row.

What you can say

• We said one episode. The timer is done, and I will sit with you while you stop.
• Phones charge in the kitchen overnight. That includes mine.
• We can look at the agreement on Sunday. Tonight the ending stays.

What you can try

• Write three rules: where, when it ends, and what sleep needs.
• Apply the bedtime screen gap to adults in shared rooms too.
• Use a visible timer and a two-minute warning.
• For under-fives, use the CDC’s published limit as a guide and choose the programme yourself.

Easy to miss

• There is not one screen number that fits every age and every family.
• A rule you remake during the game is not a rule yet.
• Removing a screen without a warning is more likely to cause a meltdown than a lesson.

When to seek more support

• Talk with school or a doctor if screen use is replacing sleep, food, friends or school, or if your child becomes very distressed or aggressive when it stops.
• Get help if you find sexual, violent or self-harm content, or if another person is contacting your child. Save what you can and use your local safeguarding or police route.
• This page is not medical advice about attention, mood or addiction.

Further reading

These are public sources we used as background. They are not a review of this page, and they are not Everyday Parent partners.

• Sleep and young children — NHS
• Positive Parenting Tips: Preschoolers (3–5 years) — Centers for Disease Control and Prevention
• Positive Parenting Tips: Young Teens (12–14 years) — Centers for Disease Control and Prevention